Archive for the Literary Curios Category

Jesus would not be pleased.

Posted in Literary Curios on November 30, 2007 by Eugene

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Here’s a wonderfully irreverent take on Old and New Scripture. Take a couple of seminal characters from the Bible and put them in an old-fashioned street-fighter arcade game and you have Bible Fight, a very well-programmed flash game from adultswim.com.

Choose Jesus and you can employ moves like “Cross Smash”. The instructions must have been written by some funny cynic: “Vent some frustration from that “being crucified thing” by smashing your opponents with that old rugged cross“. Mash a few combinations and Jesus will bring about a miracle of pain by raining fishes and loaves upon his enemy. Moses can summon a rain of frogs or whip the ten commandments at his opponents. All the characters are really endearing in their absurdity.

I was laughing as I used our Lady Mary against Noah. She has easily the most hilarious posture of protecting baby Jesus as she fights the other characters, and the animation of her “Immaculate Deception” is a must-see.

It all adds up to a very engaging if slightly sacrilegious distraction, so Dear Lord, please forgive this small peccadillo of mine…

You can play the game here.

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Like an aged aunt pickled in gin…

Posted in Literary Curios on September 27, 2007 by Eugene

If you’re going to name drop quotes on beauty, there are perhaps no bigger guns than the Greek philosophers; Socrates called it “a short-lived tyranny;” Theocritus, “an ivory mischief;”

In a world obsessed with beauty, males and females are pathologically compelled to preen, pluck and prune themselves to perfection. Poppy-peacocks! These people aren’t your rare orchids.

How short-lived all the fuzz about vanity is when you read about other aberrances in the natural world.

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Enter the Welwitschia plant, which unabashedly grotesque and drabby, owns only 2 leaves and lives for 2000 years. That means that it was spreading its ugly green tendrils when Jesus was a boy. The Weltwitschia is a god awful mess, its gangly green fronds ending in some sun beached grey frizzle. But what hardiness! How does it survive in the the unforgiving deserts of Namibia? (Egg-frying temperatures of 65 centigrade, whole years without rain etc)

Lesser known plants have simply given up or moved on. By contrast, the leathery old welwitschia has refused to admit defeat.

Its will-to-live lies in the fogs that constantly envelop the region. This is the water that nourishes welwitschia. Those leprous stamens, those snaking and sinister taproots, might seem repellent to us, but they all serve the purpose of sucking moisture out of the foggy air.

Welwitschia is nothing if not practical and hardy, like a persistent weed that fears not the heat o’ the sun nor the winter’s furious rages. And above all, it is a wonderful counterblast to a world that prizes beauty above all things.